Sammy, I got this one
by Supernoodle
Summary: One Shot. How could you prepare yourself to kill someone you cared about? Someone you loved? How could their Dad have ever expected him to be able to do this to Sam one day?... Dean's thoughts at the end of "Heart".


_**Ok, before I get going, this has spoilers for Heart - Obviously.**_

_**I know it's been done before, and done and done and done again. But I wanted to do it too!**_

_**Heart has only just been shown on British TV and I wasn't sure if I liked it or not, it seemed a bit contrived, but true to form, it pulled it out of the bag at the end. Mostly due to the superb acting and the perfect choice of music. I can't listen to Silent Lucidity without thinking of Heart now. **_

_**Dean's face when he watched Sam walk away, that tear that slipped down his cheek… Heartbreaking.**_

_**So anyway, there's no point to this fic other than I wanted to explore how Dean felt. I'm a Dean girl, after all.**_

_**Let me know if you like it. Enjoy.**_

**-o-**

**Sammy, I got this one**

**By Supernoodle**

**-o-**

"Please…" Madison begged, staring up at Sam with her big dark eyes. "I'm asking you to save me."

She was crying, but not hysterical. Amazingly calm and collected considering what was happening and Dean admired her for it.

He watched his brother shake his head, watched him fighting the tears that were just below the surface. Man, this was fucked up… So very fucked up. Frowning, he slid off the table he'd been sitting on and walked up behind the couple, reaching between them and gently taking the gun from Madison's hand. She didn't even look at him, her eyes stayed glued to Sam's - giving him that same pleading look that his little brother gave him all the time. Dean could almost see Sam in her place, pleading with him to shoot him when he went darkside. It made him feel sick.

Sam looked from the girl to Dean, their eyes meeting in silent understanding. Sam knew what had to be done, but didn't want to. He had never wanted to do anything less in his entire life and Dean knew how he felt. If he could walk away from this, he'd do it in a heartbeat. He wanted to grab Sam and pull him out the door, drive off down the road and never come back to Frisco, but they had a job to do. Never an easy job to start with and it was getting harder every day.

They had given so much, and everything else had been snatched away from them, but it seemed it still wasn't enough. All they tried to do was good and all they got in return was loneliness, pain and misery. Their lives were like some sort of karmic bad joke.

Sam looked back at Madison and walked away, over to the kitchenette. Dean followed a moment later; he couldn't quite bring himself to look at Madison in the eye.

"Sam?" Dean said gently, hanging back, giving his brother some space. Sam was turned away from him, hiding his face, fighting back the tears and failing. His shoulders slumped and everything about the way he stood screamed misery. A moment later he turned to face his brother and Dean could have wept for the look on his face.

This was so unfair. Sam liked this girl… Really liked her, and now they was going to have to put her down like some rabid dog. _Just like you__'__re gonna have to do to him one day, Dean-o _the voice buried deep in his head reminded him. Oh, if he could just shut that freakin' voice up for once… He glanced around at the apartment, Madison's possessions all around them. Her pretty little flower pictures on the wall, her winter coat hanging on a hook by the door, a coat she would never get to wear again. What was the fucking point of anything anymore when everything you have, everything you love could be taken away in a split second?

Dean motioned to the gun. "I'm sorry…" He offered.

_Sorry? _It sounded so lame in his ears… Sorry didn't even come close. Sorry you have to kill your new girlfriend? Sorry I was dumb enough to let you get close to someone?.. Sorry I can't protect you from this?

"No, you're right." Sam sniffed, openly crying now as the enormity of what they was about to do sank in. "_She__'__s_ right."

Dean looked hard at his brother, swallowing dryly. "Sammy, I got this one… I'll do it."

"She asked me to."

"You don't have to!" Dean told him.

"Yes I do." Sam replied and Dean knew his brother was right. He didn't like it, not one little bit, but he was right. Sam did have to do it or he'd never forgive himself. He'd held some faint hope that his little brother would bottle out, lose his nerve, but this was Sam after all. Sam had never backed down from anything in his whole life.

Dean wanted nothing more than to march in and shoot that bitch in the heart himself, he'd do it in an instant if it would spare his little brother this pain but he knew that it would spare him nothing.

"Please." Sam sobbed, holding out his shaking hand, asking Dean to give him the gun.

Dean's face fell and he stared at Sam, his eyes never leaving his little brother's face as he slowly passed him the weapon, giving him every chance in the world to change his mind but knowing that would never happen.

"Just wait here." Sam told him, his face working to keep control of his spiraling grief. And Dean watched as Sam braced himself for the terrible thing he was about to do. Trying to steel himself, but how could you steel yourself against something like this? How could you prepare yourself to kill someone you cared about? Someone you loved? How could their dad have ever expected him to be able to do this to Sam one day?… He'd rather die.

Sam took a deep breath and gave his brother one last, heartbreaking look, before he marched into the other room where Madison was waiting for him. Waiting for him to put a silver bullet in her chest. Waiting for Sam to _save_ her.

Dean watched him go, waiting for it to be over, waiting for the gunshot that would not only end Madison's life, but rip a hole wide through Sam's heart too. A hole that might never heal.

_I'm sorry, Sammy…Don't cry. Please…I'm sorry, I'm so sorry…_

A single tear slipped down his cheek. Dean never even felt it.

He flinched when the shot rang out but it was only from another part of his own heart dying as well.


End file.
